The Changing Public Attitude Toward Same Sex Marriage:
Marriages Give Cause to Rejoice

By Rabbi Bernard H. Bloom,
Rabbi Emeritus of Congregation Gates of Heaven in Niskayuna.
Albany Times Union
Saturday, May 29, 2004

There is nothing new about clergy in the Capital Region performing unauthorized marriages. Before he emigrated to America in 1846, Albany's first rabbi, Isaac Mayer Wise, came into conflict with the Austrian government for officiating at prohibited weddings. For over a century, it had been Imperial Austrian policy to restrict the right of Jews to marry, limiting legal marriages to the oldest son in a family. Rabbi Wise decided to officiate at unauthorized weddings. When he was summoned before an imperial official and charged with breaking the law, he defended his actions by condemning this law as unjust and inhumane.

Unjust laws have often been challenged by civil disobedience. During the many years when interracial marriages were illegal in our society, there were always courageous clergy who, like Rabbi Wise, refused to obey these unjust laws and performed religious ceremonies joining loving couples in marriage. Lest we take comfort in the demise of racial bigotry, we should know that it was only four years ago, in 2000, that Alabama, the last state to ban interracial weddings, voted to remove this ban from its constitution. Forty percent of Alabama's voters still wanted to retain the prohibition.

As with those prejudiced against same?sex marriage, the opponents of interracial marriage often quote biblical verses to bolster their bigotry, ignoring one that both Jews and Christians cherish as a prime commandment: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Leviticus 19:18)." Too often it has been interpreted as "You shall only love your neighbor who is like yourself" instead of "You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself." Throughout history, prejudice and hatred have been directed against those who are different from ourselves--in race, in religion, in nationality, in gender. Only as we have come to recognize our common humanity, which overrides such superficial differences as skin pigmentation, religious belief and sex, has human diversity come to be appreciated as a blessing rather than a cause for conflict.

The changing public attitude toward same-sex marriage is proof of this growing acceptance of our diversity. Until gays and lesbians courageously came out of the closet, it was easy to perpetuate the stereotypes that caricatured, ridiculed and dehumanized them. Once they became increasingly visible as members of our own family, as the children of our friends and neighbors, who were ordinary, decent human beings differing only in their sexual orientation, hostility began to decline. As a society, we are finally beginning to accept "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

Many still retain the age-old prejudice, believing it to be sanctioned by their faith, and this is their right. Each religion has the authority to establish for its followers its own criteria for sanctifying a union--but not to impose its doctrines on others. As for the state, its role is not to force one religion's view upon every citizen, but to recognize and strengthen the bond between a loving couple by providing the option of either civil or religious marriage, so that stable households can be established as the foundation of a healthy society. Eighteenth-century Austria prohibited Jews from marrying. Nineteenth- and 20th-century America banned interracial marriages. Now, in the 21st century, isn't it time to cast away the prejudice against same-sex marriages and legitimize the commitment of these loving couples, too?

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